This is very different from my normal posts so I apologize in advance.
Today started like most summer days. I slept in. I gave the dog her thyroid meds. I had a little something to eat and then went for my every 3 months blood work. The kids were watching tv, reading, and generally having a summer day.
Nikita, our 12 year old Siberian husky, was moving from floor vent to floor vent like usual.
Now, she hasn’t been doing great lately but I’ve attributed it to her age and her thyroid problem. We started giving her thyroid meds about a month ago when she had some major skin issues and then got very lethargic. We thought it might have been the antibiotics she was on for the skin so we took her off those. Since then she has had good days and bad days. This morning looked promising but then when T wanted to get a picture of her she didn’t want to lift her head. I just figured it was a bad day.
We already had an appointment for blood work for her at 1 to check the thyroid levels since she’s been on meds. She wasn’t excited about the leash and I had a hard time getting her in the car. By the time we got there the tech expressed concern at how she looked and the fact that she had lost a large amount of weight since we were there a month ago. She asked if it would be ok to have a vet examine her.
The short version is that she had late stage cancer. There was fluid in her belly, her oxygen level was low, and she was in pain. I accepted that ok but when I asked how I would tell when it was time for her to go and the vet started with “Well…..” That’s when I lost it.
I brought her home. The kids said goodbye. My parents came over to say goodbye. While we were home she started shaking and couldn’t stop and started having trouble walking.
She went peacefully with Mark and me by her side.
I am incredibly sad and will be for some time. In the July 2011 Self-Care Retreat Shirley talked about taking care of yourself through relationships and she added pets in there. Nikita was definitely a part of the better things in my life. She was funny and loving and even though I complained about the dog hair, I will miss her terribly.